We had a perfectly drunken storm of: Saturday, St. Patrick's day, and eighty insane degrees. It breached the police barricades to close Clark Street. I've been through six Bull's championships, Cubs playoff games, and Presidential visits, but last Saturday was officially the craziest I have ever seen anywhere, much less Wrigleyville. Drunken idiots packed the streets and scorched my ears with drunken sarcasm about my running shorts at 3 pm. On my jog I saw that Addison Avenue contained buses full of already drunken idiots from Wrigley Field to the Kennedy Expressway and the radar showed them headed within three blocks of my house. Only an act of God could have saved us; Jesus, please turn our green beer into water! Instead, the sirens went on all night as the poison spread and the living turned themselves into zombies.
I never realized how unfun drinking really is. These people weren't good company, they were stupid and annoying. I hope they got sick as hell and learned from their hangovers not to come around here any more.
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